Follow-Up: My Thanksgiving Blessings

In last week’s article, Are You Celebrating Your Dependence and Interdependence this Thanksgiving?, I invited you to shift your focus in regards to your blessings on this day. Below was the invitation…

I encourage you to be intentional about giving thanks for the blessings in your life that specifically identify God and others as the source.

However, if you want to take this to the next level, identify how you use your gifts that God has given you to be a blessing to Him and others that requires you to step out in faith. This requires courage to get out of your comfort zone to respond to a specific need God invites you to meet. And it’s all for His glory!

Will you do me a favor? Please comment how you celebrated your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving.

I promised to follow-up by sharing my thanksgivings to you. So, here they are!

God

• Grateful for God’s provision during my time in Hawaii.

• Grateful for health, spiritual growth, and the opportunity to enjoy His creation in Hawaii.

• Grateful for God’s guidance in developing His ideas for my business (i.e., The IMPACT Journey and Giants & Stones) and help in the writing I have undertaken this year.

Others

• Grateful for my friend that lives on the island that has helped me assimilate and become familiar with island life.

• Grateful for my friends that invited me over for Thanksgiving.

• Grateful for the support and encouragement from friends and family in my move to Hawaii.

• Grateful for coaches that have mentored me.

My gifts from God to be a blessing to Him and others that has required me to step out in faith…

• Definitely it was an unforeseen move, yet I took a leap of faith and got out of my comfort zone by resigning from my full-time position to focus full-time on building my business (Innovative Leadership Solutions) while condo-sitting in Hawaii for 6 months. I did visit for a week this past January. At the time, I only knew one person on the island and God has blessed me with community over time. Grateful for my home church, Our Savior Lutheran, and to help in the church office twice a week.

• Grateful for the opportunity to serve as a leadership coach, speaker, and consultant. My own transformational journey began at the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine. Now, I am able to serve clients in their transformational journey with God’s help.

Dependence

• Continued gratefulness to Jesus, my Savior, and the unconditional love and grace from God!

• Grateful for help with transportation. I do not have a car in Hawaii. Others have graciously given me rides, including a ride every Sunday for church. Otherwise, I ride the bus.

Interdependence

• Grateful for the opportunities to have collaborated with co-workers serving as an event and store manager with Goldy’s Locker Room.

• Grateful for my dad. He passed away this past February from a 17+ year battle with Parkinson’s. I appreciate his wisdom, faith, and guidance over the years. His faith in God definitely helped him persevere through his battle with Parkinson’s. He was blessed by others ministering to him. He was also a blessing to others as he still had his “pastoral hat” on through it all. Today would have been his 79th birthday. Through serving as a pastor and a professor at Concordia University-St. Paul, God gifted him to have much transformational impact on the lives of many.

How about you? There is still time! There is always time to be grateful! Take a 10-15 minute break from scrolling on your phone. Be specific and intentional when counting your blessings and then experience real, genuine, heart-felt thankfulness!

How Structurally Sound Is Your Organization’s Foundation?

The Wise Builder (Matthew 7:24-25)

Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. By doing so, the house did not fall when the storms came because it had its foundation on the rock (here Jesus is the believer’s rock-solid foundation).

I love watching HGTV’s Fixer Upper, Property Brothers, and Love It or List It. The after reveals are absolutely amazing!

They all build upon a strong foundation. The house needs to be structurally sound before any kind of renovating can truly happen. Whether it’s revealed during “demo day” or after, what’s hidden, if not dealt with correctly, will cause all sorts of problems in the future, even the possibility of the house crashing down. Certainly, we’d be shocked to watch a contractor forgo adding a support beam for the sake of having an open concept space. What would look great from the reveal would prove to be disastrous in the end. Small problem meet big problem.

How often do you as a leader, as an executive team, move forward in tweaking strategy and tactics, adding products or services, and not refer or put into practice the elements of a strong foundation?

The elements of an organization’s strong foundation are mission, vision, and core values (MVV). The foolish man builds his house on sand that cannot withstand the storms of life. If you do not want your organization to collapse, take some time after reading this article to review your MVV.

Otherwise, how will you know your purpose? How will you know what you are striving to achieve? How will you vet your decisions? Clarity and distinctiveness are the cement for your organization’s strong foundation.

Here are the necessary characteristics of each foundational element:

Mission. Why your organization exists. Your purpose. It is unchanging and ongoing. The words may tweak over the years, but the core purpose remains the same. Mission is so much more than the products and services you offer. For example, I love WD-40’s mission statement: We exist to create positive lasting memories in everything we do. Notice, how that mission captures the hearts and minds of employees in being part of something larger than themselves and making a positive difference in the lives of others. A strong mission is succinct and to the point.

Vision. What your organization has decided to achieve in the long-term. Typically, within 10 years. This is often coined as a BHAG, a big hairy audacious goal. Identifying the BHAG, is first a creative process and put into words (narrative) utilizing all the senses. Painting a picture captures the hearts and minds of employees to invest their time, talents, and effort into achieving that goal because they have been able to experience what the future looks like. Vision is also what separates organizations from “red waters” (focused on battling the competition) and “blue waters” (separating themselves from the competition) as described in the book, Blue Ocean Strategy. The best organizations seek continual renewal to thrive in open waters versus trying to merely survive in bloody waters.

Core Values. Not all values are core values. Core values are the most important values present in your organization that guide everything you do and won’t do. If I were to visit your organization, would I be able to name what they are based on my observations? Your core values should also set you apart and communicate your uniqueness. Often, you will see organizations further elaborate and define their core values in 2-4 sentences.

Patrick Lencioni distinguishes core values from other values in the July 2002 Harvard Business Review article, “Make Your Values Mean Something” (p. 6).

Aspirational: Those the company needs to succeed in the future, but currently lacks.

Permission to Play: Simply reflect the minimum behavioral and social standards required of any employee (i.e., integrity).

Accidental:  Arise spontaneously without being cultivated by leadership and take hold over time. They usually reflect the common interests or personalities of the organization’s employees. These could be beneficial if they lead to inclusivity or detrimental if they foreclose new opportunities.

Here are 3 questions for a deeper MVV review:

1.     Is your organization in alignment? What evidence do you have that supports alignment?

2.     Do you have the right people in your organization where your core values are an extension of their own?

Better to hire according to your MVV for alignment and retention. Harder to have “buy in” otherwise. Not only do they need to be a good fit, but they also need to have the competencies to fulfill the role and responsibilities you need to thrive as an organization. At the same time, MVV sets the foundation for your organization to create support and resources for your employees to thrive.

3.     Do the people in your organization truly desire to establish roots? Or are they easily attracted to invest their time, gifts, and talents elsewhere?

If you are consistently experiencing turnover, do an organizational health check-up.

Need more help? No fear. Here’s how I can be of help.

First, I invite you to review and critique my MVV. What stands out the most to you?

Here’s the link: https://www.innovative-leadership-solutions.com/who-we-are

Second, schedule a complimentary 30 minute consulting call with me to review your MVV.

Click on this link to schedule a call: https://calendly.com/naomi-ils/30min?month=2021-10

As a coach and consultant, I have reviewed and guided clients in this process. One visionary client, who was recently promoted to CEO, reviewed the organization’s MVV for the first time in 30 years. Over the years the purpose of the organization had not changed, but services expanded over time to include more stakeholders. Therefore, the mission didn’t fully encapsulate the organization’s purpose. While the core intent of the vision statement was good, it was also ambiguous. It would have been hard to know if the organization had achieved such a goal. Rather, the core intent spoke more to the mission of the organization. The core values did stand the test of time. They were still embraced and lived out by all in the organization. The refining step was to write a few sentences defining the meaning of each core value.

The end result? A strong foundation which this organization continues to build on today!

The world needs you and your uniqueness to make a positive impact in the world. Establishing a strong foundation will surely increase your chances of success with quality products or services that are unique and where there’s a demand in the marketplace. Then, you can add-on or renovate through continual renewal.

Do You Need a Good Night's Sleep? Don't Count Sheep, Count Fruit!

What's getting in the way of a good night's sleep for you? Here are just a few common examples: replaying the day's events in your mind, worrying about the next day's schedule, stewing over a conflict, feeling stressed and anxious, and scrolling on your phone before bedtime.

If we're not intentional, we can forget to give all of our worries and cares to God (I Peter 5:7). Prayer doesn't require Wi-Fi, so God is always online to be with us. Grateful for that! Speaking of grateful, I also invite you to count your fruit with God in prayer and get a good night's sleep! In Jess Connolly's book, You’re the Girl for The Job, she encourages women to count their fruit. That really resonated with me which led to more reflection which led to 5 ways you can count your fruit!

1-3. I learned Dr. John Townsend's Competence and Character Growth Path in graduate school in the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine. In his book, People Fuel, he names three types of fruit in our lives, the three Ps: Personal, People, and Performance.

Personal: Includes healthy choices in your behaviors, thoughts, values, and emotions.

People: Includes your personal and professional relationships. To the degree that they are healthy and bearing fruit depends on relationships where there is safety and acceptance with reciprocal vulnerability (being mindful of appropriate boundaries) and the ability to solve relational problems.

Performance: Includes the productivity and success of your tasks, the doing aspects of your life. A few examples of work include living out your God-given purpose; serving others with your time, talents, and treasure; and leading others with mission, vision, and core values.

What kind of fruit are you bearing in the three Ps?

Thank God in prayer for the fruit you are bearing in your life. Remember, when we bear fruit, we are blessing others and giving glory to God the Father who is the giver and source of all blessings (James 1:17).

4. I encourage you to thank God for the special people in your life where you are the receiver of their fruit.

5. Pray for the people that get under your skin! When was the last time you prayed for someone that they may know God or be strengthened, healed, or forgiven so that they could bear healthy fruit in their lives? I don't know about you, but this can be the last thing on my mind to do! Yet God instructs us to pray for our enemies and those who hurt us (Matthew 5:44).

Each night at bedtime, pick one of the 5 ways to count your fruit.

God desires to be in a personal relationship with us. After all, "there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). God blesses all who believe in His Son, Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins and rose in victory, to receive His greatest fruit, His gift of eternal life. With a free, undeserved, gift of grace like that, how can we not respond with prayers of Thanksgiving! So, let's be intentional and develop a daily habit of prayer, connecting with God. 

So, before you start counting fruit and enjoy some good zzzzzzs, I have a favor to ask. Please leave a comment and describe what this experience was like for you and what was your fruit count before you fell asleep! In all fairness, I will share mine with you next week!

Do You Share Superman’s Weakness as A Team Player?

(Part II)

Last week I shared Part I.

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me…”

Now that you have just sung these lyrics by the great, Aretha Franklin, reflect for a moment of what “respect” means to you.

As I mentioned last week, setting healthy boundaries first begins with how you respect yourself.

So, we are on the same page, according to their New York Times bestseller book, Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend define boundaries as, “anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else, or shows where you begin and end.” It’s about taking ownership of your responsibilities and not taking on the burden of what is not yours. It’s about owning your choice to say “Yes” or “No” to a request and not blaming someone else. It’s about working hard with a purpose and not frantically spinning your wheels on “busy” work.

Without setting clear, defined boundaries, your team members will not know your limits and you will not know theirs. You must make them known. Not in a rigid, stubborn way. But rather working together to co-create specific roles and responsibilities, processes, etc. Otherwise, lots of time, money, energy, and resources of each member is poorly invested. For example, when processes are inefficient, that leads to slower productivity which leads to redo’s and before you know it, hardly any forward progress has been made. That’s not thriving, it’s merely surviving.

When you have clear, defined boundaries you actually gain more respect from others rather than losing respect. Why? Because others know definitely who you are, what you’re about, and what you stand for and what you don’t. So, you take the guesswork right out of the equation which saves you and others mental, emotional, and physical energy in the long run.

With defined boundaries, you protect your “team player” strengths from kryptonite and are motivated by a heart for service. You will actually be the best version of yourself to help your team. Imagine being surrounded and working with others who also share in this operating system. Paradoxically, the act of setting limits provides the safety and security for each person to have freedom of choice.

How do you know if such freedom exists? As a team member do you have the choice to say “No” to a request? If the answer is technically “yes” then the status quo says otherwise. For example, what might be written down in a policy manual somewhere or has been shared in a meeting does not mean it’s a value lived out in the culture. The status quo is reality. If you really don’t feel like you have a choice, based on the culture, then your fears can weaken your boundaries which affects the quality of your performance and the team’s.

There are no limits to what a team could accomplish with healthy boundaries. The team leader sets the tone and co-creates with team members expectations for “team operations.”

Here are 5 simple ways to do a quick “health check” on your team’s boundaries.

1.     Mutual Trust. If trust isn’t present, building relationships that lead to trust is the top priority. Relationships that have trust, are bound together deeper than a task or project. Each member is seen as a person first and the work they do, second.

2.     Mutual Respect. Together with mutual trust, team members are free to bring their whole selves to work and are empowered to do their best work. Respect for diversity in all contexts is present as well as autonomy. There is also a high level of professionalism.

3.     Faith. Each member is motivated by a heart for service and words, actions, and behaviors are done in good faith. The team is a collective unit. Choices and decisions are held to the light of the mission, vision, and core values. There is a culture of freedom that invests time and energy to what’s truly important, the team’s goals, while providing the balance and support for each member to carry out their roles and responsibilities.

4.     Accountability. Without trust and clearly defined roles and responsibilities, accountability tends to be more reactionary and punitive in nature. Instead of “calling out” team members, call them up if they are not abiding to team expectations or not following through on commitments. Like airport security signs, “See Something, Say Something.” These are opportunities for what I call “Growth Conversations.” This takes training.

5.     Fruit. This is measured by the well-being of each member and the team, the quality of relationships and collaboration, and individual and collective performance results.

A traffic stoplight provides a simple framework for setting and expressing healthy boundaries.

Red means stop. Say “No” and provide your reasoning in light of the mission, vision, and core values. What’s the urgency level with the request? Could the team member’s responsibilities suffer if they said, “Yes?” If so, discover if another person could complete the request.

Yellow means pause and proceed with caution. Perhaps the team member needs to assess their ability to take on the request. Accept a “Let me think about it and get back to you by [a certain time]” response. If the urgency level is not high, discover if a later date of completion makes sense.

Green means go. The team member says “Yes,” and the details are worked out collaboratively.

I invite you to experiment and discover what works best for you and your team. The best teams that operate from healthy boundaries protect and play to their strengths. As Phil Jackson said, “The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.”

P.S. How did last week’s exercise go? I would love to know!

Do You Share Superman’s Weakness as A Team Player?

(Part I)

Narrator: Faster than a speeding bullet [do speeding tickets count?] More powerful than a locomotive [has more battery life than the Energizer Bunny?]. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound [work output machine in 40+ hour bouts].
Man 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!
Woman 1: It's a plane!
Man 2: It's Superman! [Super Stohlmann!]

~From the Adventures of Superman (Shmoop Quotes)

Invincible. Strong. All-in. I got this. Umm…no I don’t. In my first collegiate women’s basketball coaching and recruiting coordinator position, I flew high (living the dream as a team member of an elite basketball program) and then crashed and burned (completely burnt out). College coaching and recruiting is a grind, no doubt about it. There’s always work to be done. I logged thousands of miles by car, caffeine was my best friend, and I outworked others and the competition. I was determined to get the job done for the benefit of the student-athletes and the success of the program, to a fault.

The surprising truth is what really drove me to “be a team player” was more out of fear than service. For example, there’s a lot of administrative work: such as documentation, emails, phone calls, writing, etc. When I would work overnights, this is what consumed my time. I remember reaching out for help with data entry and the availability to delegate wasn’t an option. So, instead of setting my own limits on time and other tasks (boundaries) and collaborating with other staff members to discover alternative possibilities, I worked more because I feared disappointing others and not pulling my weight to get the job done. I thought I was demonstrating that I was a committed “team player” by going above and beyond the call of duty.

“Are you a team player?” According to BOS Staffing, 9 out of 10 job descriptions have a requirement of being a team player. Afterall, “teamwork makes the dream work,” right? Perhaps you have answered this question in an interview sharing that “you play well with others,” “love to collaborate,” “are dependable,” “committed to getting the job done,” and “always willing to give a helping hand.” Oops. Always.

The strengths you have that positively drive you to be a team player can also be your kryptonite. Kryptonite is the assumptions, beliefs, fears, and judgmental thoughts (“should,” “always,” “never,” etc.) that weakens your ability to set healthy boundaries around your strengths.

With so much emphasis on being a team player in the workplace, does the thought of not being known as one make you shudder? The truth is at your core the thought of “not being a team player” can really drive you to be one. Just not in a healthy and thriving capacity for you or your team’s performance. When boundaries are not distinct and defined by you or that of your team, performance suffers.

Here are 3 symptoms kryptonite has a stronghold on you.

1.     People-Pleasing. The thought of disappointing another person is too hard to bear. Paradoxically it could feel good to gain approval from another person, especially if this person is in a leadership position or there is a strong relationship. However, security in one’s identity is elusive when dependent on “self-esteem” fuel coming from the approval of others.

2.     Always “Yes.” The person struggles to say “No” to requests for help even when it will affect their responsibilities that ultimately affect their contribution to the team’s overall performance. They can be easily overwhelmed with tasks, stressed out, sick, and open themselves up to being manipulated by others.

3.     “One-Down.” An individual’s struggle to say “No” foregoes owning their power and authority to collaborate with others in mutual adult-adult relationships.

A client discovered this in one of our coaching sessions. The fear of not being seen as a team player held her back from setting healthy boundaries. Certainly, she has all of the great qualities of being a team player. She struggled to say “No” to requests for help, especially in light of how COVID had necessitated that team members step up and help. Truly understandable and reasonable. Except, when other team members were not. Why? Because other team members discovered their “go-to” person. It’s like the person who always gets ask to volunteer at church because they will say, “Yes.” Mission accomplished. As a result, this can give others an “out” to step up.

At the root of it all are fears. All sorts of fears, such as loss of status, relationship, and reprisal. Whether or not there is a culture of fear in your workplace, setting healthy boundaries first begins with how you respect yourself.

How do you know what is really driving you to be a team player? Ask yourself, “Am I motivated by fear of others or by a heart of service for others?”

How can you overcome your kryptonite and set healthy boundaries? First, leverage your strength of Superman’s X-ray vision. I invite you to simply notice this week when you say “Yes” to a request, how you feel in the moment, and be curious, “What’s that all about?”. When Superman uses his X-ray vision, he has more information at his disposal. We do too if we pause to notice.

More to come in next week’s post!