Fear. Courage. Opposing Forces? Here’s The Missing Link!

Did you ever play with magnets as a kid? There was something fascinating about the “click” of two magnets coming together and the resistance of two opposing each other. Did you ever wonder why that happened? Of course, there is a scientific explanation.

The law of attraction and repulsion. Opposing forces (negative and positive charges) attract and like forces (negative-negative and positive-positive charges) repel each other. From this scientific vantage point, what is your perspective when it comes to fear and courage?

First, let’s begin with a definition of both.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful, or bad that is happening or might happen.” Fears can arise that are real, imagined, or anticipated as a result of internal chatter, external circumstances, and/or past experiences.

The Cambridge Dictionary, also defined courage as “the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation.” Yet, there are many types of courage beyond bravery. Courage is all about your response.

So, let’s get back to you.

• Do you perceive fear and courage as a negative? As a result, are you unable to find the courage to face your fear or expect a positive outcome?

• Do you perceive fear and courage as a positive? Do you use courage to ignore the negative aspects of reality or blame others to avoid pain and accountability? As a result, do you find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over or experiencing the same difficulties over and over?

• Or do you perceive fear and courage as opposing forces? When fear and courage are seen as opposing forces, connectors, you have the courage to take positive action. The Cambridge Dictionary also defined the phrase, have the courage of your convictions “to be brave and confident enough to do what you believe in.”

When fear, faith, and courage come together, God guides us to act. I don’t know about you, but when I include the missing link of faith (prayer, scripture, wise counsel, etc.), God provides wisdom, discernment, and direction that lead to better outcomes. My courage is God-inspired, that is, my strength and resolve are rooted in Him, our relationship, and His purposes.

At Innovative Leadership Solutions, we have identified the 5 most common Giants facing leaders, teams, and organizations. Every Giant in your life brings fear along with them. To become a battle-ready leader, team, and organization, you must pick up some stones (rock-solid solutions) to face and take down your Giants anytime, anywhere, and any place.

Just like a warrior, you must train to become battle-ready. By the way, warriors would pray before entering battle. While you may not be going to war, your reality is filled with many challenges and fears (i.e., failure, rejection, punishment, etc.) which can be a “battle.” Do not let your Giants trigger these fears that keep you fighting, avoiding, and/or paralyzed to take action. “Courage is fear that has said its prayers” is a quote from American silent actress, Dorothy Bernard. While her intent may not have been faith-based, I believe her metaphor is spot on.

Do not succumb to the Giants in your work and life! Run towards your Giants with God’s help first and experience courage in a whole new light with better outcomes!

Fear-Faith-Courage.

“Never let your fear decide your future.” Dipak Agarwal

Click here to learn more about the 5 most common Giants.

• Which Giant is most threatening to you?

• What is the fear you are experiencing today?

• What do you want to do differently when facing a fear?

• How will you include the missing link of faith before acting with courage?

• How will that choice result in a better outcome?

I am interested in learning more about your “battle.” Let’s talk! Schedule a free consulting call by clicking here to access my calendar.

Follow-Up: My Thanksgiving Blessings

In last week’s article, Are You Celebrating Your Dependence and Interdependence this Thanksgiving?, I invited you to shift your focus in regards to your blessings on this day. Below was the invitation…

I encourage you to be intentional about giving thanks for the blessings in your life that specifically identify God and others as the source.

However, if you want to take this to the next level, identify how you use your gifts that God has given you to be a blessing to Him and others that requires you to step out in faith. This requires courage to get out of your comfort zone to respond to a specific need God invites you to meet. And it’s all for His glory!

Will you do me a favor? Please comment how you celebrated your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving.

I promised to follow-up by sharing my thanksgivings to you. So, here they are!

God

• Grateful for God’s provision during my time in Hawaii.

• Grateful for health, spiritual growth, and the opportunity to enjoy His creation in Hawaii.

• Grateful for God’s guidance in developing His ideas for my business (i.e., The IMPACT Journey and Giants & Stones) and help in the writing I have undertaken this year.

Others

• Grateful for my friend that lives on the island that has helped me assimilate and become familiar with island life.

• Grateful for my friends that invited me over for Thanksgiving.

• Grateful for the support and encouragement from friends and family in my move to Hawaii.

• Grateful for coaches that have mentored me.

My gifts from God to be a blessing to Him and others that has required me to step out in faith…

• Definitely it was an unforeseen move, yet I took a leap of faith and got out of my comfort zone by resigning from my full-time position to focus full-time on building my business (Innovative Leadership Solutions) while condo-sitting in Hawaii for 6 months. I did visit for a week this past January. At the time, I only knew one person on the island and God has blessed me with community over time. Grateful for my home church, Our Savior Lutheran, and to help in the church office twice a week.

• Grateful for the opportunity to serve as a leadership coach, speaker, and consultant. My own transformational journey began at the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine. Now, I am able to serve clients in their transformational journey with God’s help.

Dependence

• Continued gratefulness to Jesus, my Savior, and the unconditional love and grace from God!

• Grateful for help with transportation. I do not have a car in Hawaii. Others have graciously given me rides, including a ride every Sunday for church. Otherwise, I ride the bus.

Interdependence

• Grateful for the opportunities to have collaborated with co-workers serving as an event and store manager with Goldy’s Locker Room.

• Grateful for my dad. He passed away this past February from a 17+ year battle with Parkinson’s. I appreciate his wisdom, faith, and guidance over the years. His faith in God definitely helped him persevere through his battle with Parkinson’s. He was blessed by others ministering to him. He was also a blessing to others as he still had his “pastoral hat” on through it all. Today would have been his 79th birthday. Through serving as a pastor and a professor at Concordia University-St. Paul, God gifted him to have much transformational impact on the lives of many.

How about you? There is still time! There is always time to be grateful! Take a 10-15 minute break from scrolling on your phone. Be specific and intentional when counting your blessings and then experience real, genuine, heart-felt thankfulness!

Are You Celebrating Your Dependence and Interdependence this Thanksgiving?

On Thanksgiving Day, there is a shared tradition of celebration by giving thanks in an intentional way. We pause from the busyness of our lives. We prepare our hearts and minds by identifying our blessings. We gather with friends and family over a delicious meal. We express our thanks to God and others. We share our appreciation for one another. We serve others in a specific way. We praise God in worship with fellow believers in Christ (Ephesians 5:18-20).

On this day, we tend to focus more on being and less on the doing aspects of our lives (unless you’re cooking, working, parenting, or traveling). When we focus more on being, we become keenly aware of our humanness. We recognize our need for God and others. As much as we strive for independence and self-sufficiency, at our core, we are dependent on God and interdependent on one another. And that is a good thing. A very good thing.

Why? Because our sinful nature and society celebrate independence. This can be expressed through a tireless work ethic obsessed in striving to achieve the American Dream. We admire, reward, and celebrate others who put in the work (“paid their dues”) for their success, as if they did it alone. Sometimes this shows up as entitlement, a belief that we deserve things as a result of status, position, or privilege. This comes from a source of pride and self-centeredness which can diminish our motivation and focus to serve God and others. What is distinctive about an independence perspective is that we can deny or dismiss the influence and contribution of God and others in our life. At the same time, we do not need to deny or dismiss our own contributions to the blessings in our lives.

What is most challenging for you when it comes to independence?

There is nothing inherently wrong with being grateful for our accomplishments. Yet, nothing that we have, own, or receive is truly self-made. Others have contributed to who we are, what we achieve, and why and how we serve and vice versa. We are really interdependent on one another. We influence one another, for better or worse. We are interconnected in dependent ways. This is very different from co-dependency. Co-dependent individuals can enable, rescue, overly depend, and seek approval from others because they struggle with the capacities of independence; being a separate person. Their identity becomes enmeshed with the other person and is therefore really a shared identity between them. Whereas individuals in interdependent relationships don’t lose their identity, sense of self or separateness. In fact, as a positive outcome, each person mutually benefits from the relationship. What is truly special about interdependent relationships is the fruit. The harvest bears more fruit in our lives than what could exist or be accomplished alone.

Are you enmeshed in a co-dependent relationship? If so, what pulls you in?

What gets in the way for you to engage in interdependent relationships?

However, with God, we are dependent on Him. For in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17: 28 NIV). It is not an interdependent relationship because He doesn’t need anything from us. Afterall He is God. Yet, He calls us His child, friend, and a citizen and heir of His Heavenly Kingdom. God is the giver and source of everything, here and for all eternity! From this perspective, we are called to praise Him (Psalm 9:1; 139:13-14; 150:6; Colossians 3:16), live a godly life (Romans 12:1-2; Galatians 5:22-23; ), and share the Gospel with others (Matthew 28:18-20).

Our response to God, is a daily focus on stewardship and service for Him and for the sake of others. At the heart of this is receiving unconditional love from God and Christian love from others. Additionally, we express thanks to God and others for their love. The unconditional love of God, our Father and His only Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior, and the gift of His Holy Spirit is to be shared with others for eternal purposes. Eternal life (John 3:16) is the ultimate gift to give praise and thanksgiving to God. The best part, we cannot earn it . We are completely dependent on Jesus for our salvation and His Holy Spirit to come to faith in Him.

In what ways do you struggle to be dependent on God?

How will you celebrate your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving Day?

I encourage you to be intentional about giving thanks for the blessings in your life that specifically identify God and others as the source. This is not to deny or dismiss your contributions. Rather it’s an invitation to shift your focus on this special day.

However, if you want to take this to the next level, identify how you use your gifts that God has given you to be a blessing to Him and others that requires you to step out in faith. This requires courage to get out of your comfort zone to respond to a specific need God invites you to meet. And it’s all for His glory!

Take a step back from yourself as the source of your blessings and instead step into gratefulness for God and others with a humble spirit.

Will you do me a favor? Please comment how you celebrated your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving. I will. Will you?

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! (I Chronicles 16:34 ESV)

“I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam.” Popeye The Sailor Man Knows Who He Is, Do You?

Have you ever been asked to elaborate on this statement, Tell me a little bit about yourself? How do you describe who YOU are? Certainly, the context of the situation and having good boundaries will determine what you share.

But, for your sake, do you truly know who YOU are at the core of your being?

Notice the focus on being and not doing. Yes, who YOU are influences what you do and what you achieve in life. But, who YOU are at your core is what makes you special to fulfill your unique life purpose.

Getting back to the question, your answer is most likely yes and no. Yes, based on your perceptions and what others perceive to know about you. No, because that reality is partially true. First, you have blind spots. Second, how many people fully know you? Third, as life goes on, you discover more about yourself and the person you’re becoming.

It is also dependent upon how much YOU have invested in this reflective and discovery process (I will sprinkle questions throughout this article).

• When is the last time you have truly reflected on who YOU are?

• And as a result, did YOU desire to make changes and seek to opportunities to grow?

Not everyone chooses to change or grow. Yet, growth at any stage of life is always possible. Since you are reading this article, I believe you are a person seeking to grow. Not growth at the ocean’s surface, like snorkeling, but growth at the ocean’s depth like scuba diving.

This transformational growth happens from the inside-out. Yes, growth begins with YOU!

• Do you desire more joy, fulfillment, purpose, achievement, and significance in your life?

• If so, what is holding you back?

You can be your own worst enemy. The good news, is that YOU can break free and thrive!

As Christians, we have a solid shared foundation of our identity in the truth of God’s Word. At the same time, each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) in the image of God. As Pastor Mitch Gowen at Our Savior Hawaii, would say, “You are a unique and unreproducible miracle of God."

• How strongly do you hold yourself in high regard for the unique and valuable person you are beyond what you do?

• What is the quality of your relationship with yourself?

• How is your perspective of who YOU are been influenced by others and life experiences?

• Do you accept all of yourself, strengths, weaknesses, uniqueness, and imperfections?

Mark 12:30-31 lists the essential elements that make up who YOU are at your core (heart, mind, and soul). Jesus shares His greatest commandment for us, love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Then He shares His second greatest commandment for us, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Heart. In Proverbs 4:23, King Solomon refers to the heart as the wellspring of life. What is in your heart, pours out into your daily life. Who YOU are and what YOU believe, your heart posture, drives your behaviors, actions, and decisions which influence your results. Thus, who YOU are will impact how you live and the fruit you will bear in your life.

Mind. Your thoughts. Worldly thoughts can rob you of joy, fulfillment, purpose, achievement, and significance in your life. Thus, short-changing you of who YOU are and how YOU are to grow. In Romans 12:2, Paul urges you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind which is accomplished by a heavenly perspective with God’s help. As a result, you will be able to understand and discern what is the will of God for your life. Transform your thinking and transform your life with an eternal, faith perspective.

Soul. Two aspects. First, the status of your humanity. As stated by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die (vv. 1-2). He gives 14 pairings in this passage. God is God (sovereign and immortal) and you are human (not fully in control and mortal). Second, your soul is also the expression of your humanity: to experience pain and loss and to express your emotions and feelings. Ultimately, how you choose to live this life, is everything in light of eternity. Because sin was brought into the world by Adam and Eve all humans share in this sinful nature and so we cannot save ourselves. However, the Good News (literally) is found in John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. That is not just pie-in-the-sky hope, but rather an eternal promise (eternal life will happen for you through faith in Jesus).

Strength. Also included in v. 30. Here Mark refers to the interconnectedness of heart, mind, and soul and the level of strength you have will influence to that degree everything in your life. In Philippians 4:13, Paul refers to enduring the realities of life by proclaiming, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

• How would YOU describe your current state of being human in the context of your heart, mind, and soul?

• How is your ability to endure the realities of life?

• What patterns and themes did you notice that emerged for you?

Knowing how much God loves you (His unconditional love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness for you) helps you to love and accept who YOU are in light of all that He has done for you. Yet, God has more growth in store for YOU!

Now that you know the essential elements that make up who YOU are, you have a better understanding of what it means to love God and others. For example, strength in v. 30, refers to the degree that you love God by the power of the Holy Spirit. The same is true for yourself, that the presence of the Holy Spirit within you, enables you to love and accept yourself as God does. To the degree you love God through faith and by the power of the Holy Spirit, and in light of His favor towards you, will be to the degree you love yourself, and to the degree you love others. You are not striving for perfection because that is impossible. You can only give to the degree that you have received. So, embrace and receive what God has freely given to you and who You are in Him!

How does this relate to your life’s mission?

It’s crystal clear. The heart of your mission is to love God and love people. This means embracing and accepting His favor for you so you can freely give your whole being to love Him and to love others. How you serve in your mission, is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1).

Wonder how to get started?

Simply begin by completing “I am” statements. Perhaps you would like to create a visual that encompasses who YOU are, similar to the image in this article. Write down whatever shows up as you reflect without judgment. Do include how you show up as both positive attributes and growth opportunities where YOU influence your personal and professional life.

If you want to take a deeper dive into exploring and discovering more about yourself, a certified coach can guide you through this process. Coaching is an inquiry and thought-provoking approach to increase your awareness of your motivations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs that influence how you perceive yourself, others, and all reality. At the same time, you have been influenced by past experiences which contribute to who YOU are, what YOU do, and how YOU respond to the demands of reality. In fact, at Innovative Leadership Solutions, LLC, our first step in our proven process, The IMPACT Journey, is Introspection where we help you get to the heart, mind, and soul of who you are and how that influences your personal and professional life. We partner with you in the coaching process to support your self-discovery about your internal and external reality which increases your self and other awareness and desire to take action towards your envisioned future.

To learn more, schedule a free consultation call by clicking on this link https://calendly.com/naomi-ils/30min?month=2021-10