Fear. Courage. Opposing Forces? Here’s The Missing Link!

Did you ever play with magnets as a kid? There was something fascinating about the “click” of two magnets coming together and the resistance of two opposing each other. Did you ever wonder why that happened? Of course, there is a scientific explanation.

The law of attraction and repulsion. Opposing forces (negative and positive charges) attract and like forces (negative-negative and positive-positive charges) repel each other. From this scientific vantage point, what is your perspective when it comes to fear and courage?

First, let’s begin with a definition of both.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful, or bad that is happening or might happen.” Fears can arise that are real, imagined, or anticipated as a result of internal chatter, external circumstances, and/or past experiences.

The Cambridge Dictionary, also defined courage as “the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation.” Yet, there are many types of courage beyond bravery. Courage is all about your response.

So, let’s get back to you.

• Do you perceive fear and courage as a negative? As a result, are you unable to find the courage to face your fear or expect a positive outcome?

• Do you perceive fear and courage as a positive? Do you use courage to ignore the negative aspects of reality or blame others to avoid pain and accountability? As a result, do you find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over or experiencing the same difficulties over and over?

• Or do you perceive fear and courage as opposing forces? When fear and courage are seen as opposing forces, connectors, you have the courage to take positive action. The Cambridge Dictionary also defined the phrase, have the courage of your convictions “to be brave and confident enough to do what you believe in.”

When fear, faith, and courage come together, God guides us to act. I don’t know about you, but when I include the missing link of faith (prayer, scripture, wise counsel, etc.), God provides wisdom, discernment, and direction that lead to better outcomes. My courage is God-inspired, that is, my strength and resolve are rooted in Him, our relationship, and His purposes.

At Innovative Leadership Solutions, we have identified the 5 most common Giants facing leaders, teams, and organizations. Every Giant in your life brings fear along with them. To become a battle-ready leader, team, and organization, you must pick up some stones (rock-solid solutions) to face and take down your Giants anytime, anywhere, and any place.

Just like a warrior, you must train to become battle-ready. By the way, warriors would pray before entering battle. While you may not be going to war, your reality is filled with many challenges and fears (i.e., failure, rejection, punishment, etc.) which can be a “battle.” Do not let your Giants trigger these fears that keep you fighting, avoiding, and/or paralyzed to take action. “Courage is fear that has said its prayers” is a quote from American silent actress, Dorothy Bernard. While her intent may not have been faith-based, I believe her metaphor is spot on.

Do not succumb to the Giants in your work and life! Run towards your Giants with God’s help first and experience courage in a whole new light with better outcomes!

Fear-Faith-Courage.

“Never let your fear decide your future.” Dipak Agarwal

Click here to learn more about the 5 most common Giants.

• Which Giant is most threatening to you?

• What is the fear you are experiencing today?

• What do you want to do differently when facing a fear?

• How will you include the missing link of faith before acting with courage?

• How will that choice result in a better outcome?

I am interested in learning more about your “battle.” Let’s talk! Schedule a free consulting call by clicking here to access my calendar.

How To Influence Greater “Herd Humility”

Last weekend I attended a workshop presented by Rev. Dr. Darrell Zimmerman of Grace Place Wellness. He shared the story of a conversation in which one woman meant to say, “herd immunity” and instead said “herd humility.” What a concept as it relates to vocation!

I ascribe humility to servant leadership which can also be referred to as transformational leadership. In fact, one of the core values of Innovative Leadership Solutions, is serve to lead and lead to serve. The paragraph below elaborates on this value.

We believe everyone is called to both lead and serve in unique and diverse ways. This involves both giving and receiving motivated by a heart for service, genuine care for others, and fulfilling a greater purpose. These leaders bring out the best in others! We champion with you and for you in growing your leadership capacities so that your influence transforms the lives of others and leaves a legacy of stewardship and service.

It’s other-serving rather than self-serving. It’s about serving a purpose that is greater than ourselves. The result? Transformational leadership and not transactional leadership. The first type of leadership involves a heart for others whereas the second type of leadership uses others as a means to an end. In terms of legacy, which type of leadership lives on? Transformational, of course.

Imagine the kind of transformational impact on the billions of people all over the world with greater “herd humility.” Imagine leaders bringing out the best in others. Imagine colleagues collaborating with one another for the sake of the mission. Imagine people relating to one another out of genuine care and concern for others. The reality is that we are called to lead and serve accordingly.

Who can be credited with the start of “herd humility?” The Sunday School answer…Jesus! Jesus was the Son of God, a King. If anyone had the right to be served, it was Him. However, He humbled Himself to become man and live among us. Everything that He did, was serving the will of His Father for the present needs and eternal spiritual benefit of others. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, though He was without sin, by dying on the cross and rising in victory. As a result, through Him, all who believe may have eternal life.

Throughout His life, Jesus demonstrated the posture of humility in service to God and for His purposes. Specifically in John 13, Jesus washed the disciples’ feet and in doing so, encouraged this same posture of humility in service to God and for His purposes. Hence, the start of “herd humility” began to spread and world has never been the same since! Yet, there is still more serving to be done!

What can you do to stay grounded in the posture of humility and influence greater “herd humility?” Rev. Dr. Zimmerman showed us a picture of a “sheep-herd.” You are called in your vocation to serve as a “shepherd,” to lead, serve, and care for others. At the same time, Jesus is The Good Shepherd, and you are one of His sheep nestled ever so gently in His arms. Psalm 23 beautifully describes God’s great love and care for you! You can find rest and restoration in God.

DaySpring Hallmark Eli Really Woolly Nativity Shepherd Sheep Baby Lamb Plush Tag

And, influencing greater “herd humility” is really about spreading JOY because true JOY is of God!

In order to spread JOY, you must first receive JOY in your life!

• Reach out to Jesus and let Him care for you and give yourself permission to care for yourself so that you can better serve and lead others.

• Connect with others daily in mutually beneficial ways to meet each other’s relational needs.

• Abide in Him daily to ground yourself in the posture of humility in service to God and for His purposes.

• Thank and praise God for the blessings in your life.

Now, go and influence greater “herd humility!”

New Year’s Resolutions: Why You Should Focus on 12 Months of Success and Not One

Love this. “Ruining your New Year’s Resolution since 1962.”

According to an article in Forbes , 50% of the population make New Year’s resolutions and within a month, 80% fail to keep them. If you choose to make a resolution, it’s no secret that the odds are against you. Yet, every year, about a quarter of Americans will try to be an outlier (YouGovAmerica).

Personally, I have foregone making the traditional New Year’s resolution. Why? I am not a betting person, but I would rather have the odds in my favor.

Wouldn’t you?

If so, you can be an outlier simply by focusing on 12 months of success and not one. Play the long game and celebrate the victories along the way.

What about the month of January?

I recommend reframing the way you look at January. What if, instead, these were your 31 mulligan (“do-over”) days spread out throughout the year? You can use them whenever you want, or you can put them on the calendar. Your choice. 31 times in 2022, you can practice self-compassion and give yourself some grace when you succumb to temptation, like enjoying a DQ blizzard.

Why is January continually the failed month for self-improvement?

4 Primary Reasons and What To Do About Them

1. Shortsightedness in goal-setting.  It is the “all or nothing” mindset. It is the root cause of the yo-yo diet. It is the belief that success happens without setbacks. The mantra is “perfect or go home.” Without considering what it takes to create new habits for long-term results which includes identifying the root cause of your challenge, any success is short-lived. Identifying potential challenges and navigating setbacks is key.

2. Lacking a clear, doable plan. Perception is reality. It can be really hard to determine what reality is without asking others. You have blind spots. You could try to do too much by setting unrealistic expectations. When you create a plan that is solid from the get-go (read on for 5 essentials), the likelihood of achieving your goal increases to 50% (Association for Talent Development).

3. Understanding your why. Perhaps you have heard of the term cost benefit analysis (CBA). When it comes to self-improvement, if the benefits do not outweigh the cost, then the stakes are not high enough to necessitate change. Additionally, your commitment must be made with both your head and heart; intellectual understanding and emotional investment. And do not forget about how to counter the critical messages of your inner judge.

4. Lacking an accountability partner. It is much easier to take a break for one day, then two, and eventually quit when you are only utilizing your determination and willpower. It may be hard for you to ask for help and support yet reaching out is worth it! According to a 2015 research study by the Association for Talent Development, you can increase your chance of success by 65% with an accountability partner and even 95% if you schedule a regular check-in with them.

What can you do to strive towards the top 5% in achieving your goal?

5 Essentials For Creating A Solid Plan

1. Get specific. Begin by describing your current reality as it pertains to your perceived area of concern. Then, describe your future reality as if you have conquered this concern. Be sure to involve your senses: what would it look, feel, and sound like. As you look at your descriptions, what is the gap you need to overcome? Identify one thing that will help you close the gap towards your future reality.

For example, lack of sleep. How is a lack of sleep impacting your current reality? How would your future reality look, feel, and sound like if you got enough sleep, let’s say 8 hours/night? What beliefs, values, perceptions, and challenges are the root cause for your lack of sleep?

2. Focus on the process. What specifically will you do differently? Identify 2 things. This involves new ways of behaving which create new habits. Additionally, there needs to be new ways of seeing and being to make these new behaviors stick.

For example, creating a preparation plan to decompress. This could include turning off electronic devices by a certain time, taking a bath, reading a book, journaling, etc. You may also need to shape your environment so that it is most conducive to a restful night of sleep. Or it may not be about how many hours of sleep you get, but the quality of sleep you need to be at your best.

What challenges or obstacles might you face? How will you counter them?

Who will serve as your accountability partner? How will they help and support you? What, specifically do you want them to hold you accountable for? When will you meet and check-in with them?

You may also consider seeking professional support. This could be the services of a nutritionist, psychologist, trainer, coach, etc.

3. Measure your progress. Specifically. Anything can be turned into a measurable. It must also be doable.

For example, it might be rating the quality of sleep every morning on a scale of 1-10 and then providing a brief reason for that rating. Perhaps your goal is to have 3 nights of sleep/week with a rating of 7 or higher.

4. Adapt and adjust if needed. Be flexible. As you go, you may have new insights or considerations to take into account for your plan. That is okay. Additionally, as you progress, your starting point has changed because you have grown. Therefore, it’s okay to reevaluate and tweak your plan.

5. Celebrate your victories along the way and your setbacks. Normalize that you will experience both successes and setbacks. That is okay. Instead of being hard on yourself, see setbacks as a learning opportunity, a gift of valuable insight to guide you on your journey towards your desired destination.

I commend you for your initiative, intentionality, motivation, and commitment in your self-improvement journey! Focus on 12 months of success, shift your mindset, and with a solid plan others can support you towards achieving your desired goals!

Interested in learning how coaching can help you towards victory? Schedule a free consultation call here.

Christmas Possibilities

If you’re like me, you spend time watching Hallmark movies during the holidays. Each movie has a predictable plot and outcome, yet you find yourself drawn to watching as many of them as you can! The storyline goes like this…

Two lives meet by “chance” and fall in love. Each person has their challenges and struggles. One person is in a relationship that isn’t “true love” or has been hurt in a previous relationship. Through experiencing a new environment with new people and an open heart and mind, the possibility of something more fulfilling emerges. Even when things look bleak, you know that each person chooses to make changes in their lives so they can be together. It is a happily ever after and it all happens at Christmastime.

Yet Christmas possibilities run deeper, don’t they?

Perhaps you love Christmas because of the possibilities to be surprised. Maybe an unexpected proposal, gift, job, or opportunity.

Yet Christmas possibilities run even deeper, don’t they?

Perhaps it is the possibility of gathering with friends and family that isn’t possible during other times of the year. Maybe it is a time of relational healing and restoration between spouses, family, and friends.

Yet, Christmas possibilities run even deeper, don’t they?

Is there any wonder why possibilities emerge around Christmastime? No.

While there are many meaningful and memorable possibilities that emerge at Christmastime, the true meaning of Christmas was affirmed and fulfilled by God long ago! You can find the account of Jesus’ birth in Luke 2:1-20.

God is not like a Santa Claus or genie. He is about so much more than granting a mere hopeful wish to come true. He knows what is best for us, what we truly long for, and He is the giver of all good things (James 1:17). He knows what we need because He created us in His image (Genesis 1:27).

During the holidays, the season of Advent, we ponder and prepare our hearts with the anticipation of Christ’s birth. The long awaited Savior, the possibility of Him coming to Earth, is fulfilled! God keeps His promises because He is faithful and loves us!

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. ~John 3:16

Talk about the ultimate Christmas possibility that came true, emerged out of unconditional love, extreme sacrifice, eternal significance, priceless value, and redemptive power! What a gift! A gift that changes EVERYTHING, for you, for me, for the entire world!

CHRISTmas Blessings to you!

Follow-Up: My Thanksgiving Blessings

In last week’s article, Are You Celebrating Your Dependence and Interdependence this Thanksgiving?, I invited you to shift your focus in regards to your blessings on this day. Below was the invitation…

I encourage you to be intentional about giving thanks for the blessings in your life that specifically identify God and others as the source.

However, if you want to take this to the next level, identify how you use your gifts that God has given you to be a blessing to Him and others that requires you to step out in faith. This requires courage to get out of your comfort zone to respond to a specific need God invites you to meet. And it’s all for His glory!

Will you do me a favor? Please comment how you celebrated your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving.

I promised to follow-up by sharing my thanksgivings to you. So, here they are!

God

• Grateful for God’s provision during my time in Hawaii.

• Grateful for health, spiritual growth, and the opportunity to enjoy His creation in Hawaii.

• Grateful for God’s guidance in developing His ideas for my business (i.e., The IMPACT Journey and Giants & Stones) and help in the writing I have undertaken this year.

Others

• Grateful for my friend that lives on the island that has helped me assimilate and become familiar with island life.

• Grateful for my friends that invited me over for Thanksgiving.

• Grateful for the support and encouragement from friends and family in my move to Hawaii.

• Grateful for coaches that have mentored me.

My gifts from God to be a blessing to Him and others that has required me to step out in faith…

• Definitely it was an unforeseen move, yet I took a leap of faith and got out of my comfort zone by resigning from my full-time position to focus full-time on building my business (Innovative Leadership Solutions) while condo-sitting in Hawaii for 6 months. I did visit for a week this past January. At the time, I only knew one person on the island and God has blessed me with community over time. Grateful for my home church, Our Savior Lutheran, and to help in the church office twice a week.

• Grateful for the opportunity to serve as a leadership coach, speaker, and consultant. My own transformational journey began at the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine. Now, I am able to serve clients in their transformational journey with God’s help.

Dependence

• Continued gratefulness to Jesus, my Savior, and the unconditional love and grace from God!

• Grateful for help with transportation. I do not have a car in Hawaii. Others have graciously given me rides, including a ride every Sunday for church. Otherwise, I ride the bus.

Interdependence

• Grateful for the opportunities to have collaborated with co-workers serving as an event and store manager with Goldy’s Locker Room.

• Grateful for my dad. He passed away this past February from a 17+ year battle with Parkinson’s. I appreciate his wisdom, faith, and guidance over the years. His faith in God definitely helped him persevere through his battle with Parkinson’s. He was blessed by others ministering to him. He was also a blessing to others as he still had his “pastoral hat” on through it all. Today would have been his 79th birthday. Through serving as a pastor and a professor at Concordia University-St. Paul, God gifted him to have much transformational impact on the lives of many.

How about you? There is still time! There is always time to be grateful! Take a 10-15 minute break from scrolling on your phone. Be specific and intentional when counting your blessings and then experience real, genuine, heart-felt thankfulness!

Are You Celebrating Your Dependence and Interdependence this Thanksgiving?

On Thanksgiving Day, there is a shared tradition of celebration by giving thanks in an intentional way. We pause from the busyness of our lives. We prepare our hearts and minds by identifying our blessings. We gather with friends and family over a delicious meal. We express our thanks to God and others. We share our appreciation for one another. We serve others in a specific way. We praise God in worship with fellow believers in Christ (Ephesians 5:18-20).

On this day, we tend to focus more on being and less on the doing aspects of our lives (unless you’re cooking, working, parenting, or traveling). When we focus more on being, we become keenly aware of our humanness. We recognize our need for God and others. As much as we strive for independence and self-sufficiency, at our core, we are dependent on God and interdependent on one another. And that is a good thing. A very good thing.

Why? Because our sinful nature and society celebrate independence. This can be expressed through a tireless work ethic obsessed in striving to achieve the American Dream. We admire, reward, and celebrate others who put in the work (“paid their dues”) for their success, as if they did it alone. Sometimes this shows up as entitlement, a belief that we deserve things as a result of status, position, or privilege. This comes from a source of pride and self-centeredness which can diminish our motivation and focus to serve God and others. What is distinctive about an independence perspective is that we can deny or dismiss the influence and contribution of God and others in our life. At the same time, we do not need to deny or dismiss our own contributions to the blessings in our lives.

What is most challenging for you when it comes to independence?

There is nothing inherently wrong with being grateful for our accomplishments. Yet, nothing that we have, own, or receive is truly self-made. Others have contributed to who we are, what we achieve, and why and how we serve and vice versa. We are really interdependent on one another. We influence one another, for better or worse. We are interconnected in dependent ways. This is very different from co-dependency. Co-dependent individuals can enable, rescue, overly depend, and seek approval from others because they struggle with the capacities of independence; being a separate person. Their identity becomes enmeshed with the other person and is therefore really a shared identity between them. Whereas individuals in interdependent relationships don’t lose their identity, sense of self or separateness. In fact, as a positive outcome, each person mutually benefits from the relationship. What is truly special about interdependent relationships is the fruit. The harvest bears more fruit in our lives than what could exist or be accomplished alone.

Are you enmeshed in a co-dependent relationship? If so, what pulls you in?

What gets in the way for you to engage in interdependent relationships?

However, with God, we are dependent on Him. For in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17: 28 NIV). It is not an interdependent relationship because He doesn’t need anything from us. Afterall He is God. Yet, He calls us His child, friend, and a citizen and heir of His Heavenly Kingdom. God is the giver and source of everything, here and for all eternity! From this perspective, we are called to praise Him (Psalm 9:1; 139:13-14; 150:6; Colossians 3:16), live a godly life (Romans 12:1-2; Galatians 5:22-23; ), and share the Gospel with others (Matthew 28:18-20).

Our response to God, is a daily focus on stewardship and service for Him and for the sake of others. At the heart of this is receiving unconditional love from God and Christian love from others. Additionally, we express thanks to God and others for their love. The unconditional love of God, our Father and His only Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior, and the gift of His Holy Spirit is to be shared with others for eternal purposes. Eternal life (John 3:16) is the ultimate gift to give praise and thanksgiving to God. The best part, we cannot earn it . We are completely dependent on Jesus for our salvation and His Holy Spirit to come to faith in Him.

In what ways do you struggle to be dependent on God?

How will you celebrate your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving Day?

I encourage you to be intentional about giving thanks for the blessings in your life that specifically identify God and others as the source. This is not to deny or dismiss your contributions. Rather it’s an invitation to shift your focus on this special day.

However, if you want to take this to the next level, identify how you use your gifts that God has given you to be a blessing to Him and others that requires you to step out in faith. This requires courage to get out of your comfort zone to respond to a specific need God invites you to meet. And it’s all for His glory!

Take a step back from yourself as the source of your blessings and instead step into gratefulness for God and others with a humble spirit.

Will you do me a favor? Please comment how you celebrated your dependence and interdependence this Thanksgiving. I will. Will you?

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! (I Chronicles 16:34 ESV)

“I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam.” Popeye The Sailor Man Knows Who He Is, Do You?

Have you ever been asked to elaborate on this statement, Tell me a little bit about yourself? How do you describe who YOU are? Certainly, the context of the situation and having good boundaries will determine what you share.

But, for your sake, do you truly know who YOU are at the core of your being?

Notice the focus on being and not doing. Yes, who YOU are influences what you do and what you achieve in life. But, who YOU are at your core is what makes you special to fulfill your unique life purpose.

Getting back to the question, your answer is most likely yes and no. Yes, based on your perceptions and what others perceive to know about you. No, because that reality is partially true. First, you have blind spots. Second, how many people fully know you? Third, as life goes on, you discover more about yourself and the person you’re becoming.

It is also dependent upon how much YOU have invested in this reflective and discovery process (I will sprinkle questions throughout this article).

• When is the last time you have truly reflected on who YOU are?

• And as a result, did YOU desire to make changes and seek to opportunities to grow?

Not everyone chooses to change or grow. Yet, growth at any stage of life is always possible. Since you are reading this article, I believe you are a person seeking to grow. Not growth at the ocean’s surface, like snorkeling, but growth at the ocean’s depth like scuba diving.

This transformational growth happens from the inside-out. Yes, growth begins with YOU!

• Do you desire more joy, fulfillment, purpose, achievement, and significance in your life?

• If so, what is holding you back?

You can be your own worst enemy. The good news, is that YOU can break free and thrive!

As Christians, we have a solid shared foundation of our identity in the truth of God’s Word. At the same time, each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) in the image of God. As Pastor Mitch Gowen at Our Savior Hawaii, would say, “You are a unique and unreproducible miracle of God."

• How strongly do you hold yourself in high regard for the unique and valuable person you are beyond what you do?

• What is the quality of your relationship with yourself?

• How is your perspective of who YOU are been influenced by others and life experiences?

• Do you accept all of yourself, strengths, weaknesses, uniqueness, and imperfections?

Mark 12:30-31 lists the essential elements that make up who YOU are at your core (heart, mind, and soul). Jesus shares His greatest commandment for us, love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Then He shares His second greatest commandment for us, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Heart. In Proverbs 4:23, King Solomon refers to the heart as the wellspring of life. What is in your heart, pours out into your daily life. Who YOU are and what YOU believe, your heart posture, drives your behaviors, actions, and decisions which influence your results. Thus, who YOU are will impact how you live and the fruit you will bear in your life.

Mind. Your thoughts. Worldly thoughts can rob you of joy, fulfillment, purpose, achievement, and significance in your life. Thus, short-changing you of who YOU are and how YOU are to grow. In Romans 12:2, Paul urges you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind which is accomplished by a heavenly perspective with God’s help. As a result, you will be able to understand and discern what is the will of God for your life. Transform your thinking and transform your life with an eternal, faith perspective.

Soul. Two aspects. First, the status of your humanity. As stated by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die (vv. 1-2). He gives 14 pairings in this passage. God is God (sovereign and immortal) and you are human (not fully in control and mortal). Second, your soul is also the expression of your humanity: to experience pain and loss and to express your emotions and feelings. Ultimately, how you choose to live this life, is everything in light of eternity. Because sin was brought into the world by Adam and Eve all humans share in this sinful nature and so we cannot save ourselves. However, the Good News (literally) is found in John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. That is not just pie-in-the-sky hope, but rather an eternal promise (eternal life will happen for you through faith in Jesus).

Strength. Also included in v. 30. Here Mark refers to the interconnectedness of heart, mind, and soul and the level of strength you have will influence to that degree everything in your life. In Philippians 4:13, Paul refers to enduring the realities of life by proclaiming, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

• How would YOU describe your current state of being human in the context of your heart, mind, and soul?

• How is your ability to endure the realities of life?

• What patterns and themes did you notice that emerged for you?

Knowing how much God loves you (His unconditional love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness for you) helps you to love and accept who YOU are in light of all that He has done for you. Yet, God has more growth in store for YOU!

Now that you know the essential elements that make up who YOU are, you have a better understanding of what it means to love God and others. For example, strength in v. 30, refers to the degree that you love God by the power of the Holy Spirit. The same is true for yourself, that the presence of the Holy Spirit within you, enables you to love and accept yourself as God does. To the degree you love God through faith and by the power of the Holy Spirit, and in light of His favor towards you, will be to the degree you love yourself, and to the degree you love others. You are not striving for perfection because that is impossible. You can only give to the degree that you have received. So, embrace and receive what God has freely given to you and who You are in Him!

How does this relate to your life’s mission?

It’s crystal clear. The heart of your mission is to love God and love people. This means embracing and accepting His favor for you so you can freely give your whole being to love Him and to love others. How you serve in your mission, is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1).

Wonder how to get started?

Simply begin by completing “I am” statements. Perhaps you would like to create a visual that encompasses who YOU are, similar to the image in this article. Write down whatever shows up as you reflect without judgment. Do include how you show up as both positive attributes and growth opportunities where YOU influence your personal and professional life.

If you want to take a deeper dive into exploring and discovering more about yourself, a certified coach can guide you through this process. Coaching is an inquiry and thought-provoking approach to increase your awareness of your motivations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs that influence how you perceive yourself, others, and all reality. At the same time, you have been influenced by past experiences which contribute to who YOU are, what YOU do, and how YOU respond to the demands of reality. In fact, at Innovative Leadership Solutions, LLC, our first step in our proven process, The IMPACT Journey, is Introspection where we help you get to the heart, mind, and soul of who you are and how that influences your personal and professional life. We partner with you in the coaching process to support your self-discovery about your internal and external reality which increases your self and other awareness and desire to take action towards your envisioned future.

To learn more, schedule a free consultation call by clicking on this link https://calendly.com/naomi-ils/30min?month=2021-10

How Structurally Sound Is Your Organization’s Foundation?

The Wise Builder (Matthew 7:24-25)

Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. By doing so, the house did not fall when the storms came because it had its foundation on the rock (here Jesus is the believer’s rock-solid foundation).

I love watching HGTV’s Fixer Upper, Property Brothers, and Love It or List It. The after reveals are absolutely amazing!

They all build upon a strong foundation. The house needs to be structurally sound before any kind of renovating can truly happen. Whether it’s revealed during “demo day” or after, what’s hidden, if not dealt with correctly, will cause all sorts of problems in the future, even the possibility of the house crashing down. Certainly, we’d be shocked to watch a contractor forgo adding a support beam for the sake of having an open concept space. What would look great from the reveal would prove to be disastrous in the end. Small problem meet big problem.

How often do you as a leader, as an executive team, move forward in tweaking strategy and tactics, adding products or services, and not refer or put into practice the elements of a strong foundation?

The elements of an organization’s strong foundation are mission, vision, and core values (MVV). The foolish man builds his house on sand that cannot withstand the storms of life. If you do not want your organization to collapse, take some time after reading this article to review your MVV.

Otherwise, how will you know your purpose? How will you know what you are striving to achieve? How will you vet your decisions? Clarity and distinctiveness are the cement for your organization’s strong foundation.

Here are the necessary characteristics of each foundational element:

Mission. Why your organization exists. Your purpose. It is unchanging and ongoing. The words may tweak over the years, but the core purpose remains the same. Mission is so much more than the products and services you offer. For example, I love WD-40’s mission statement: We exist to create positive lasting memories in everything we do. Notice, how that mission captures the hearts and minds of employees in being part of something larger than themselves and making a positive difference in the lives of others. A strong mission is succinct and to the point.

Vision. What your organization has decided to achieve in the long-term. Typically, within 10 years. This is often coined as a BHAG, a big hairy audacious goal. Identifying the BHAG, is first a creative process and put into words (narrative) utilizing all the senses. Painting a picture captures the hearts and minds of employees to invest their time, talents, and effort into achieving that goal because they have been able to experience what the future looks like. Vision is also what separates organizations from “red waters” (focused on battling the competition) and “blue waters” (separating themselves from the competition) as described in the book, Blue Ocean Strategy. The best organizations seek continual renewal to thrive in open waters versus trying to merely survive in bloody waters.

Core Values. Not all values are core values. Core values are the most important values present in your organization that guide everything you do and won’t do. If I were to visit your organization, would I be able to name what they are based on my observations? Your core values should also set you apart and communicate your uniqueness. Often, you will see organizations further elaborate and define their core values in 2-4 sentences.

Patrick Lencioni distinguishes core values from other values in the July 2002 Harvard Business Review article, “Make Your Values Mean Something” (p. 6).

Aspirational: Those the company needs to succeed in the future, but currently lacks.

Permission to Play: Simply reflect the minimum behavioral and social standards required of any employee (i.e., integrity).

Accidental:  Arise spontaneously without being cultivated by leadership and take hold over time. They usually reflect the common interests or personalities of the organization’s employees. These could be beneficial if they lead to inclusivity or detrimental if they foreclose new opportunities.

Here are 3 questions for a deeper MVV review:

1.     Is your organization in alignment? What evidence do you have that supports alignment?

2.     Do you have the right people in your organization where your core values are an extension of their own?

Better to hire according to your MVV for alignment and retention. Harder to have “buy in” otherwise. Not only do they need to be a good fit, but they also need to have the competencies to fulfill the role and responsibilities you need to thrive as an organization. At the same time, MVV sets the foundation for your organization to create support and resources for your employees to thrive.

3.     Do the people in your organization truly desire to establish roots? Or are they easily attracted to invest their time, gifts, and talents elsewhere?

If you are consistently experiencing turnover, do an organizational health check-up.

Need more help? No fear. Here’s how I can be of help.

First, I invite you to review and critique my MVV. What stands out the most to you?

Here’s the link: https://www.innovative-leadership-solutions.com/who-we-are

Second, schedule a complimentary 30 minute consulting call with me to review your MVV.

Click on this link to schedule a call: https://calendly.com/naomi-ils/30min?month=2021-10

As a coach and consultant, I have reviewed and guided clients in this process. One visionary client, who was recently promoted to CEO, reviewed the organization’s MVV for the first time in 30 years. Over the years the purpose of the organization had not changed, but services expanded over time to include more stakeholders. Therefore, the mission didn’t fully encapsulate the organization’s purpose. While the core intent of the vision statement was good, it was also ambiguous. It would have been hard to know if the organization had achieved such a goal. Rather, the core intent spoke more to the mission of the organization. The core values did stand the test of time. They were still embraced and lived out by all in the organization. The refining step was to write a few sentences defining the meaning of each core value.

The end result? A strong foundation which this organization continues to build on today!

The world needs you and your uniqueness to make a positive impact in the world. Establishing a strong foundation will surely increase your chances of success with quality products or services that are unique and where there’s a demand in the marketplace. Then, you can add-on or renovate through continual renewal.

Do You Need a Good Night's Sleep? Don't Count Sheep, Count Fruit!

What's getting in the way of a good night's sleep for you? Here are just a few common examples: replaying the day's events in your mind, worrying about the next day's schedule, stewing over a conflict, feeling stressed and anxious, and scrolling on your phone before bedtime.

If we're not intentional, we can forget to give all of our worries and cares to God (I Peter 5:7). Prayer doesn't require Wi-Fi, so God is always online to be with us. Grateful for that! Speaking of grateful, I also invite you to count your fruit with God in prayer and get a good night's sleep! In Jess Connolly's book, You’re the Girl for The Job, she encourages women to count their fruit. That really resonated with me which led to more reflection which led to 5 ways you can count your fruit!

1-3. I learned Dr. John Townsend's Competence and Character Growth Path in graduate school in the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine. In his book, People Fuel, he names three types of fruit in our lives, the three Ps: Personal, People, and Performance.

Personal: Includes healthy choices in your behaviors, thoughts, values, and emotions.

People: Includes your personal and professional relationships. To the degree that they are healthy and bearing fruit depends on relationships where there is safety and acceptance with reciprocal vulnerability (being mindful of appropriate boundaries) and the ability to solve relational problems.

Performance: Includes the productivity and success of your tasks, the doing aspects of your life. A few examples of work include living out your God-given purpose; serving others with your time, talents, and treasure; and leading others with mission, vision, and core values.

What kind of fruit are you bearing in the three Ps?

Thank God in prayer for the fruit you are bearing in your life. Remember, when we bear fruit, we are blessing others and giving glory to God the Father who is the giver and source of all blessings (James 1:17).

4. I encourage you to thank God for the special people in your life where you are the receiver of their fruit.

5. Pray for the people that get under your skin! When was the last time you prayed for someone that they may know God or be strengthened, healed, or forgiven so that they could bear healthy fruit in their lives? I don't know about you, but this can be the last thing on my mind to do! Yet God instructs us to pray for our enemies and those who hurt us (Matthew 5:44).

Each night at bedtime, pick one of the 5 ways to count your fruit.

God desires to be in a personal relationship with us. After all, "there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). God blesses all who believe in His Son, Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins and rose in victory, to receive His greatest fruit, His gift of eternal life. With a free, undeserved, gift of grace like that, how can we not respond with prayers of Thanksgiving! So, let's be intentional and develop a daily habit of prayer, connecting with God. 

So, before you start counting fruit and enjoy some good zzzzzzs, I have a favor to ask. Please leave a comment and describe what this experience was like for you and what was your fruit count before you fell asleep! In all fairness, I will share mine with you next week!

Do You Share Superman’s Weakness as A Team Player?

(Part II)

Last week I shared Part I.

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me…”

Now that you have just sung these lyrics by the great, Aretha Franklin, reflect for a moment of what “respect” means to you.

As I mentioned last week, setting healthy boundaries first begins with how you respect yourself.

So, we are on the same page, according to their New York Times bestseller book, Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend define boundaries as, “anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else, or shows where you begin and end.” It’s about taking ownership of your responsibilities and not taking on the burden of what is not yours. It’s about owning your choice to say “Yes” or “No” to a request and not blaming someone else. It’s about working hard with a purpose and not frantically spinning your wheels on “busy” work.

Without setting clear, defined boundaries, your team members will not know your limits and you will not know theirs. You must make them known. Not in a rigid, stubborn way. But rather working together to co-create specific roles and responsibilities, processes, etc. Otherwise, lots of time, money, energy, and resources of each member is poorly invested. For example, when processes are inefficient, that leads to slower productivity which leads to redo’s and before you know it, hardly any forward progress has been made. That’s not thriving, it’s merely surviving.

When you have clear, defined boundaries you actually gain more respect from others rather than losing respect. Why? Because others know definitely who you are, what you’re about, and what you stand for and what you don’t. So, you take the guesswork right out of the equation which saves you and others mental, emotional, and physical energy in the long run.

With defined boundaries, you protect your “team player” strengths from kryptonite and are motivated by a heart for service. You will actually be the best version of yourself to help your team. Imagine being surrounded and working with others who also share in this operating system. Paradoxically, the act of setting limits provides the safety and security for each person to have freedom of choice.

How do you know if such freedom exists? As a team member do you have the choice to say “No” to a request? If the answer is technically “yes” then the status quo says otherwise. For example, what might be written down in a policy manual somewhere or has been shared in a meeting does not mean it’s a value lived out in the culture. The status quo is reality. If you really don’t feel like you have a choice, based on the culture, then your fears can weaken your boundaries which affects the quality of your performance and the team’s.

There are no limits to what a team could accomplish with healthy boundaries. The team leader sets the tone and co-creates with team members expectations for “team operations.”

Here are 5 simple ways to do a quick “health check” on your team’s boundaries.

1.     Mutual Trust. If trust isn’t present, building relationships that lead to trust is the top priority. Relationships that have trust, are bound together deeper than a task or project. Each member is seen as a person first and the work they do, second.

2.     Mutual Respect. Together with mutual trust, team members are free to bring their whole selves to work and are empowered to do their best work. Respect for diversity in all contexts is present as well as autonomy. There is also a high level of professionalism.

3.     Faith. Each member is motivated by a heart for service and words, actions, and behaviors are done in good faith. The team is a collective unit. Choices and decisions are held to the light of the mission, vision, and core values. There is a culture of freedom that invests time and energy to what’s truly important, the team’s goals, while providing the balance and support for each member to carry out their roles and responsibilities.

4.     Accountability. Without trust and clearly defined roles and responsibilities, accountability tends to be more reactionary and punitive in nature. Instead of “calling out” team members, call them up if they are not abiding to team expectations or not following through on commitments. Like airport security signs, “See Something, Say Something.” These are opportunities for what I call “Growth Conversations.” This takes training.

5.     Fruit. This is measured by the well-being of each member and the team, the quality of relationships and collaboration, and individual and collective performance results.

A traffic stoplight provides a simple framework for setting and expressing healthy boundaries.

Red means stop. Say “No” and provide your reasoning in light of the mission, vision, and core values. What’s the urgency level with the request? Could the team member’s responsibilities suffer if they said, “Yes?” If so, discover if another person could complete the request.

Yellow means pause and proceed with caution. Perhaps the team member needs to assess their ability to take on the request. Accept a “Let me think about it and get back to you by [a certain time]” response. If the urgency level is not high, discover if a later date of completion makes sense.

Green means go. The team member says “Yes,” and the details are worked out collaboratively.

I invite you to experiment and discover what works best for you and your team. The best teams that operate from healthy boundaries protect and play to their strengths. As Phil Jackson said, “The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.”

P.S. How did last week’s exercise go? I would love to know!

Do You Share Superman’s Weakness as A Team Player?

(Part I)

Narrator: Faster than a speeding bullet [do speeding tickets count?] More powerful than a locomotive [has more battery life than the Energizer Bunny?]. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound [work output machine in 40+ hour bouts].
Man 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!
Woman 1: It's a plane!
Man 2: It's Superman! [Super Stohlmann!]

~From the Adventures of Superman (Shmoop Quotes)

Invincible. Strong. All-in. I got this. Umm…no I don’t. In my first collegiate women’s basketball coaching and recruiting coordinator position, I flew high (living the dream as a team member of an elite basketball program) and then crashed and burned (completely burnt out). College coaching and recruiting is a grind, no doubt about it. There’s always work to be done. I logged thousands of miles by car, caffeine was my best friend, and I outworked others and the competition. I was determined to get the job done for the benefit of the student-athletes and the success of the program, to a fault.

The surprising truth is what really drove me to “be a team player” was more out of fear than service. For example, there’s a lot of administrative work: such as documentation, emails, phone calls, writing, etc. When I would work overnights, this is what consumed my time. I remember reaching out for help with data entry and the availability to delegate wasn’t an option. So, instead of setting my own limits on time and other tasks (boundaries) and collaborating with other staff members to discover alternative possibilities, I worked more because I feared disappointing others and not pulling my weight to get the job done. I thought I was demonstrating that I was a committed “team player” by going above and beyond the call of duty.

“Are you a team player?” According to BOS Staffing, 9 out of 10 job descriptions have a requirement of being a team player. Afterall, “teamwork makes the dream work,” right? Perhaps you have answered this question in an interview sharing that “you play well with others,” “love to collaborate,” “are dependable,” “committed to getting the job done,” and “always willing to give a helping hand.” Oops. Always.

The strengths you have that positively drive you to be a team player can also be your kryptonite. Kryptonite is the assumptions, beliefs, fears, and judgmental thoughts (“should,” “always,” “never,” etc.) that weakens your ability to set healthy boundaries around your strengths.

With so much emphasis on being a team player in the workplace, does the thought of not being known as one make you shudder? The truth is at your core the thought of “not being a team player” can really drive you to be one. Just not in a healthy and thriving capacity for you or your team’s performance. When boundaries are not distinct and defined by you or that of your team, performance suffers.

Here are 3 symptoms kryptonite has a stronghold on you.

1.     People-Pleasing. The thought of disappointing another person is too hard to bear. Paradoxically it could feel good to gain approval from another person, especially if this person is in a leadership position or there is a strong relationship. However, security in one’s identity is elusive when dependent on “self-esteem” fuel coming from the approval of others.

2.     Always “Yes.” The person struggles to say “No” to requests for help even when it will affect their responsibilities that ultimately affect their contribution to the team’s overall performance. They can be easily overwhelmed with tasks, stressed out, sick, and open themselves up to being manipulated by others.

3.     “One-Down.” An individual’s struggle to say “No” foregoes owning their power and authority to collaborate with others in mutual adult-adult relationships.

A client discovered this in one of our coaching sessions. The fear of not being seen as a team player held her back from setting healthy boundaries. Certainly, she has all of the great qualities of being a team player. She struggled to say “No” to requests for help, especially in light of how COVID had necessitated that team members step up and help. Truly understandable and reasonable. Except, when other team members were not. Why? Because other team members discovered their “go-to” person. It’s like the person who always gets ask to volunteer at church because they will say, “Yes.” Mission accomplished. As a result, this can give others an “out” to step up.

At the root of it all are fears. All sorts of fears, such as loss of status, relationship, and reprisal. Whether or not there is a culture of fear in your workplace, setting healthy boundaries first begins with how you respect yourself.

How do you know what is really driving you to be a team player? Ask yourself, “Am I motivated by fear of others or by a heart of service for others?”

How can you overcome your kryptonite and set healthy boundaries? First, leverage your strength of Superman’s X-ray vision. I invite you to simply notice this week when you say “Yes” to a request, how you feel in the moment, and be curious, “What’s that all about?”. When Superman uses his X-ray vision, he has more information at his disposal. We do too if we pause to notice.

More to come in next week’s post!

Keep Your Focus on the Gift of PRESENCE!

God loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to be born and live among us, which is what we celebrate today on CHRISTmas.

His mission was fulfilled by dying on a cross to take on the punishment of our sins. Three days later, He rose victoriously, defeating sin, death, and the devil, so that we may be in His PRESENCE for all of eternity! Before Jesus returned to Heaven, He shared with His disciples that the Father would send them an advocate which is the Holy Spirit to have His PRESENCE within us (John 14: 15-17). This gift came to Jesus’ disciples on Pentecost. The PRESENCE of His Spirit lives within us as believers in Jesus Christ.

What is so hard in giving our full PRESENCE with others? A few examples are distractions (i.e., cell phones and TV), time, selfishness, judgment, emotions, and a lack of truly listening. Or we’ve never experienced someone’s full PRESENCE with us.

The million dollar questions is, “How can we give our full PRESENCE with others?” As a leadership coach, I’ve been trained in the skills of PRESENCE to be for and with my clients. By all means, I’m not perfect like God’s PRESENCE, yet when I find my mind drifting, I have been trained to name it without judgment and reengage with the listening skills of attunement. Jesus is the ultimate example of how to be in full PRESENCE with others.

Thankfully, we can always count on God’s PRESENCE, especially in times of uncertainty. God is Sovereign and we know He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

As we hope for a better 2021, regardless of what is ahead, let us move forward in the words of Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

What's Your Goliath?

Easter and Basketball? Yes!

One Word for 2020

Have you ever listened to a familiar song and in that very moment a phrase in the lyrics speaks specifically to you? This is what I experienced at church on Christmas Eve listening to a duet of Amy Grant’s song, “Breath of Heaven.”

Breath of heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of heaven

This song is also referred to as “Mary’s Song.” Of course, I’m not Mary, nor can I imagine what it was like for her to be pregnant and give birth to Jesus, the Son of God, our Savior. Mary was an amazing faith-filled servant of God that surrendered to God’s will for what was to be (Luke 1:38 NIV). This song speaks to Mary seeking God’s presence, strength, and mercy for every step that she would undertake as the mother of Jesus. Because of Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection, her life was forever changed and so was yours and mine! Eternal life awaits all who trust in His redeeming love.

My focus for 2020 is to seek God’s presence, strength, and mercy for the year ahead. His breath is found in reading His Word (2 Timothy 3:16), spending quiet time in prayer and reflection, and in community with fellow believers. Yet, He is with us all the time because His gift of the Holy Spirit lives inside us (John 20:21-22). God gave us life with His breath and when we breathe, let us be reminded of God’s presence in every moment and in all circumstances.

Feeling stressed? Pause and take a life-giving breath from God to reduce your anxiety and worry.

Feeling great? Pause and take a life-giving breath from God praising His goodness and blessings!

Will you seek His guidance for the road ahead (Psalm 119:105)? If so, you will reflect Him, the greater light, in your personal and professional growth in leadership and service for His purposes and in the lives of others!

Happy New Year!